Problems don't exist if you pretend

  Today I was having a chat with KD0ZHJ (Bob) on the 145.450 repeater. Bob said that we need to bring more people into the hobby, and I said that we need to hold on to the people that we already attract. I explained how, in my conversations with new hams, people have expressed that it's hard to plug into the social circles and find the kind of people that they were hoping to run into when they considered entering the hobby. Also, I explained how the lack of activity is a vicious circle, and that encountering dead repeaters again and again makes these new hams think twice about even turning on their radios the next time. 

Of course, I was attacked for saying these things by others jumping in. And, of course, it was stupid. 

  Again and again, I repeated that I was talking about new hams being turned off, but this point was never addressed. Instead, it was all about me. One person in particular, who has an uncanny knack of missing the point and a strong proclivity for "straw-man" arguments, seemed to believe that I was saying that I was experiencing these problems. He never grasped that I was talking about other people, and putting myself in their place. I was told that I should just ignore the unpleasant people, and that I should put more effort into finding people that I enjoyed conversing with. At no point did it occur to my attackers that I was doing exactly that before they jumped all over me. I should also try different repeaters, I was told. 

  With regard to low activity, I mentioned how I had spent an hour the previous night trying to find someone to have a conversation with. My point was that, if someone like me -- who has stuck with the hobby for years -- experienced this, think of how discouraging it would be for someone who was very new. 

EDIT: I was asked, at this point, which repeaters I monitor. I'm pretty sure that my 'helpful' buddy 'knew' that I was on dead repeaters, and was going to suggest that I try more popular repeaters...because I'm just too stupid to figure that out on my own, you know. For the record, the bulk of that hour was spent on the 145.450,the 442.925, and the 444.800 repeaters. The rest of it (about ten minutes) was spent on other repeaters; the UHF .775, .600, .875, and the 444.450. Ironically, I finally found a contact on two repeaters with very little activity: the 444.750 and the 147.000. Not sure how this changes the situation with new hams getting discouraged by low activity, but there you go.

  This point sailed over my attackers' heads. Instead, there was a condescending attempt to solve 'my' problem. Maybe I should try other repeaters. Gosh, I never thought of that. It's hard for me to believe that those who engage in this kind of arrogant condescension are completely oblivious as to how they come across. Maybe I've found that some of the more populated repeaters are the home of other, even more arrogant and condescending, pricks. Perhaps I wouldn't find dealing with that kind of person to be enjoyable. Or we can pretend that I'm too stupid to QSY to another repeater. Guess which scenario my attackers went with. Again, at no point did the wider context of the situation that I presented creep into the consciousness of the strawman-obsessed.

  I never understood how me trying a different repeater is going to make it easier for someone else (a new ham) to fit in to the community. I also never understood how spending the same amount of time on the air, only on a different repeater, is going to solve the problem of low activity that discourages other people (new hams) from sticking with the hobby. "Well, you're the one complaining about it!", I was informed. The mind boggles. 

  And this is what it comes down to, folks. We simply aren't supposed to admit that there are any problems with the hobby, and this strategy will make the problems go away. 

  The absurdity of sitting down for an afternoon of pleasant conversation, and being told that I believe that it's not possible to sit down for an afternoon of pleasant conversation is staggering. 

  We can't talk to the people that join, and soon abandon, the hobby because they aren't around. But we can jump down the throat of someone trying to make sense of the curious case of licensee numbers rising and activity declining. Because that guy is the problem, and if he would just shut up about people that aren't on the air any more, those people will somehow come back. Because recognising problems for what they are is bad. I guess if the transmission on your car is shot, but you only know how to change the spark plugs, you should convince yourself that the spark plugs are the problem. 

  There was the usual tiresome, "What are you going to do to fix the problem?" BS. What, you mean the problem that you don't believe exists? Yeah, I'm going to personally talk to everyone that has abandoned the hobby, quit my job and abandon all of my other interests, and just sit on the radio amusing those people that haven't found amateur radio compelling before. Because if I don't do that, I can't possibly ever speak about any problems in the hobby. Even better, I can't talk about any problems unless I solve them first. That sounds rational. 

  I'm on the air most days, and I do my best to maintain stimulating and friendly conversation. This is in stark contrast to other people that can only seem to talk about radios, antennae, and technical matters. It's also in stark contrast to others who maintain an elitist attitude and talk down to people who don't find those things interesting. I avoid people that annoy me, and try to make people that I enjoy talking with glad that they ran into me. Setting a good example is all that you can really do. It's a hobby, after all. You do it because it's enjoyable. If it's not enjoyable, then it's unpaid work -- and there are other things that I can do with my free time that are enjoyable. 

  Aside from that, I can only wonder at the bizarre contradiction between talking down to me as if I never had been on the air before, and simultaneously expecting me to single-handedly save the hobby from itself.

  The biggest problem with the social integration of new people into the hobby is that we deny there is any problem. Instead, we pretend that these people aren't facing any challenges at all. Saying, "Welcome to ham radio" is not a magical spell, okay? Especially when the rest of your conversation is usually telling them that their radio is inadequate, that they need to spend hundreds of dollars on this new hobby that are just getting acquainted with, and that they really need to work on upgrading their licence. Yeah, we're ready with all kinds of technical advice, but absolutely nothing about helping them to find the social niche that they would be comfortable in. And, when it comes down to it, we see these new hams as raw material to mold into our own image, rather than as individuals that got into the hobby for a reason -- and it probably wasn't because they really wanted to be molded, okay? 

  This perverted 'welcome' is what they find on a lot of the most popular repeaters. Remember, these people haven't invested decades and thousands into the hobby like you have. Cutting bait early is eminently practical for them, and the pattern that I've seen is that these people get disappointed enough to abandon it within three or four months. Not three or four years. Even dumber, we continue to treat people as "new" hams for years, with condescension that most veteran hams are completely oblivious to. Condescension doesn't make people feel welcome or at ease. It just communicates the idea that you consider them to be inferior to you, like a slow child that you graciously tolerate. You don't have to actually say, "I think you are inferior to me" in order to convey that impression to someone. 

  This line of attack isn't new. It's what I've seen ever since I started writing on this blog. Apparently, the solution to the hobby's problems is to make sure that nobody ever points out the problems. The same tiresome phrases keep on cropping up, as if there was a script handed out to all hams at some point in the past. Anything negative is your fault, or you should just ignore it. Oddly, these wise jackasses never seem to be able to take their own advice and just ignore those who point out the problems in the hobby. They continually demand "solutions", but the only solution they seem to have is self-delusion and the willingness to tell people like me to shut up. Whatever direction the hobby moves, these same wise jackasses will unconsciously tell themselves that this is exactly what they always envisioned. It's not markedly different from the self-deluded group-think that one finds in a cult. Is it possible that this weird phenomena is yet another of the things that turns new-comers off to the hobby? 

  More and more, I find myself questioning where amateur radio is going and what my place in it would be in that uncertain future. The Wise Elders of the hobby seem to be lost in complacency, denial, and arrogance. They can either tell you to shut up, or treat you like you're a moron. That's it, and if that doesn't work, they're out of 'answers'. As long as I can find a few people to have friendly conversations with, there will be a reason for me to keep turning on my radio day after day. But the world of the Wise Elders is a dead end that repels more people than it attracts, and there's little place for friendly conversation within it -- much less opinions outside of their narrow self-delusion. When it becomes too much work, and takes too much time, to find those pleasant experiences that I'm looking for, then I'll find myself doing other things that actually are enjoyable. 

  The solution for the hobby is remarkably simple. Give up the petty hierarchies, the arrogant distinctions, the scripted delusions, the obsessions with stamping out heresy, and the idea that the whole thing is Very Serious Business. It's a hobby, and it's one of many recreational options available to people. Treat people like people, and stop pretending that this is something on the same level as brain surgery. The people that have been in the hobby the longest are the ones that seem to have the least sensible notion of what the hobby has become in the current technological situation. They are the least capable of seeing where amateur radio fits in to today's world, and they think that by force of will, delusion, and arrogant brow-beating that they can keep the clock from moving forward. To a certain extent, remaining in the hobby just serves to validate their views of its relevance and vitality. 

  There is no way for anyone to single-handedly 'fix' things. Many, in fact, define the hobby in terms of the very things that are corroding and undermining it. That's why this whole, "What are you gonna do to fix things?" trope is so ridiculous. We have a group of blacksmiths in the age of the automobile who firmly believe that horseshoes will make a comeback if we just keep telling the same convenient lies to each other. They think that if we just make a better horseshoe, the clock will turn back. The only solutions that they are interested in involve making a better horseshoe. 

  Maybe, at some point, leaving these people to their imaginary world is the best approach. I understand why so many people abandon the hobby, and it's not because they are too lazy or stupid to "keep up". It's that a lot of the people doing it have lost sight of the objective in a glaringly obvious way.